The Life We Choose

I'm reading a Peter Walsh book called It's All To Much. I am thoroughly enjoying it. It is on my favorite topic decluttering. And we all know that decluttering goes hand in hand with downsizing. And downsizing is passion for us.
Since we downsized almost 3 years ago we have been expounding the joys of our new lifestyle to anyone who will listen. Well maybe we even told some people who don't want to hear about it. Bill and I know that they are just not ready for it yet. But the day will come sooner or later when they are ready for a freer life.
Our realization came to us in a most insidious manner. We started to vacation in Europe and were astounded at their smaller homes. The homes that I visited were wonderfully decorated and not cluttered. Their homes had multi functional pieces of furniture. Everything had a place and was just perfect for the space. They would wait patiently for just the perfect piece to fill the spot.
As Bill and I became empty nester's, we started to enjoy our time together in evening walks and coffee dates. Our life was unfolding before us and we loved the carefree life we were living. We loved traveling and being away from home.
Both of us were working and away from our huge 1900 square foot home with a walk out basement for most of the day. Neither of us enjoyed yard work or shoveling snow. Neither of us were interested in the perfect decorated home. Let's face it off white walls was as wild as we got in our decoration prowess.
It was at this same time that Bill's mom moved out of her home of 40 or so years to a smaller apartment. The task of downsizing was momentous and very overwhelming at times. When it was done, it felt wonderful for her and her children.
We were lucky to have his mom around to make the decisions on what was wanted and not. In the case of my parents, we had to clean it out after they died. It was not a happy time for those concerned.
Bill and I started to chat about dealing with all the “crap” in the basement. We had boxes still packed up from two moves ago.
One day while we were tidying up for the “maids coming” we realized that of the seven rooms and three bathrooms, that we had only used 3 rooms and two bathrooms. The rugs still had the vacuum marks from the cleanup two weeks before.
It did not make sense to me that we heated this huge house where we barely did more than sleep in and have dinner. It did not make sense that we stayed somewhere that demanded time from us that we did not want to give. It did not make sense to us that we had so much stuff. We had 5 desks for the two of us. We had two sets of living room furniture. We had 4 beds. We had 4 sets of dishes and well the mugs and glasses took up half our kitchen cupboard space.
It all did not make sense. We were drowning in stuff we did not need or use. We forced ourselves to re evaluate that future day that we may need our stuff.
We bucked the trend and looked for a smaller space in the name of a condo which was located downtown. Our friends and family thought we were absolutely nuts to leave our beautiful new home with hardwood floors and everything we had wanted when we had it built for us. However sometimes even the things we thought we wanted were not the things we actually want. Lifestyles change and in our case we knew we needed to make the change to set ourselves free from what was no longer our dream.
In a matter of a few months we found the ideal place in downtown Calgary and sold our house just half an hour on the market. We now had less than 3 months to get downsized.
I am not going to say it was an easy task. It was daunting. It was emotional. It was reliving every year that we had been married. It was fascinating to find things we had long since forgotten about. It was a task in patience while we figured out what we needed and what we thought we needed. There were tears and laughter. There were memories and you know what I still carry all those memories even though I do not have the “stuff” that I kept stored in the basement.
We love our simpler and in many ways easier life in our condo. It is really freeing to be rid of all the things that hang around in the basement haunting you. Our daughters thanked us for going through our things already. What a bonus for them not to have to go through our memorabilia after we are gone.
We started slowly and as we got the hang of it, we became pros at sorting through our junk. We decided instead of watching the same re-run sitcom every night that we would go into the basement and fill up a garbage or recycle bag. Thirty minutes every evening. It worked well for us. It is incredible the amount of garbage and recycle we kept in our basement. It just kept coming out. Our garbage went from its weekly one black bag to as many as we dared to put out on garbage day.
We still struggle with clutter and accumulation. We have adopted a motto; "Shirt in, Shirt out". Meaning if you buy anything for our condo, something of equal value or size must leave. It works. Further we find ourselves shopping differently. Costco rations rarely works in our limited space. And we look at most things and raise an eyebrow and look at each other and say “garage sale fodder”!
If I haven't said it enough, Bill and I have never looked back after our change in residences. It seems that daily we find another perk to living where and how we live.
It is all about being honest with yourself and knowing what you really want out of life. Work towards the things that make that happen and happiness will follow.
Wendy H.