It Is Cold Out There

I am all cozy and snug in the condo.

This morning my computer informed me that it is minus 26. It has a little side notation "feels like minus 36". I have been a prairie girl long enough to know that this is a bunch of hooey because no one feels anything anymore at minus 36! YET as I watch the beautiful mist and steam rise from the river this cold morn, I see at least three groups of people running the river path. They must be crazy. Show offs.

When Jackie was in Grade 3 in Edmonton, she had a teacher who would wait for one of the coldest days of the winter. You know the one where those children who did show up to school are allowed to stay in all day because it is too cold to be out there. Anyway, this teacher would bundle up his class and parade them outside the school making a point of stopping at each set of school windows to show them that it wasn't cold for the 8 year old. I am sure that this teacher was one of these runners.

The cars below are chugging down the road.The whirling vortex of white exhaust tailing behind them leaving a trail of where they have been. It slowly disintegrates into the air as it is replaced by more exhaust from the following cars. I have travelled in bumper to bumper traffic whereby you felt you were in a whiteout due to the frigid exhaust. I have also travelled in a car in whiteout conditions where we opened the passenger door to follow the lines on the pavement. Not so fun.

Last month we had the joy of having Jackie's girlfriend stay with us. We drove to Banff. Along the way we stopped at Lac des Arc. The lake was frozen. There is something so cool about throwing stones on a frozen lake. She had never seen a frozen lake before. The concept was new to her. It never occurred to me that there are people who never seen a frozen lake. I am after all a prairie girl through and through.

A few years back, Alanna and I would walk to the river to throw rocks into it. We would do this in winter too. At this particular spot there was a built up of ice on the side bank. We would find rocks and throw them on the ice to hear the different tones it would make in different depths of the ice build up. It was interesting how hard it was to find the same tone twice. As an aside, the best place to throw rocks on a frozen lake is in the mountains where the echos bounce around until silenced. It is eerily beautiful.

My favorite cold winter phenomenon is "ice crystals" It is not cold enough for this today. However I have seen it many times over my years. The sun catches the crystals just right and it bursts into a sparkling flashes of light. The flashes of twinkling lights fall like snow. They surround you in all their glory and you feel like you are in the middle of stage lit with a million lights.

Jackie's girlfriend asked Jackie simply if it is so cold, why do we stay here. This is good question.
Maybe our brains have been frozen once too often. We most definitely have short term memory loss. Or maybe we have convinced ourselves that we needed an excuse to vacation in a tropical climate. What would we complain about if the weather was always warm?

It is a few days until Christmas and I don't have to wish for a "White Christmas". And that is why in the middle of this bleak winter day, I try to find the beauty of it all. I know this is not particularly Canadian. As Canadians, we tend to be cranky about our weather especially in winter. It is the water cooler topic of many a work day. We like to compare the forecasts we have heard on our various medias and blame the weatherman for our misery in this "God forsaken country".

Being a pessimistic soul, I have tried to find the silver lining in this cold winter day. I wouldn't trade the beauty of a white winter for all the sand on a warm beach.
I hope you find love, joy and peace in all that you see and do on this cold winter Christmas.

Wendy KH

And Poof She Was Gone!

Jackie was here. Now she is gone.
Again!
She arrived November 8 and left November 23.
No matter how long it is, it is never long enough.
I could get into the whole thing of mother love and heart tugs, but that is just a given.

To quote my mother in law, Jackie got to see the newest twig on our family tree. I love that saying. Jackie was thrilled to see her newest niece, Kelsey. I am sure that she spent one gig of a memory card just on Kelsey baby pictures. And why not she is the cutest baby around.

We all had a chance to visit with Jackie at a impromptu family get together. Thank goodness for the amenities room in our condo. Jackie gladly shared her newest endeavors on the weekly paper of the Japan Times. She shared a few stories of her life in Tokyo and Japan in general.

Jackie requested a “fake Christmas” for the immediate family. So on Saturday the 15th, we put on the carols and Christmas videos. We put the turkey in the oven and set the table with green and red. Short of our Christmas tree, it felt like Christmas. We shared our presents. We stuffed our faces with food and Jill's lovely decadent dessert and fell into a luscious post somnolence stupor of a Christmas dinner.

Jackie and I had a day of shopping. That is she shopped and I got to watch her try on hundreds of things. It reminded me of the times I sat outside of the change rooms when the kids were teenagers. Jill and Jackie would each take a room with an armful of clothes and I would sit a wait for each to come out and model their newest fashion must have. I was always a sucker for fad clothes for the girls.

Through the haze of those few weeks, Jackie and I got a chance to chat about her newest hopes and dreams. Her ever evolving plans. Her love.

Jackie lives life to the fullest and at break neck speed. Vicariously, I live the life I always said I wanted to do through her. I did not understand that distance from family would be the expense at which it came.

As Alanna told her auntie Jackie on the last visit to Calgary, I can email and see you on skype (video telephone on the computer), but it is not the same as being able to hug you in person.

Yes it is not the same. That is why the time flies as their is never enough hugs to carry you through to her next visit

It was sooooo good to see you Jackie.
We love you : )
mom
Wendy K H

It's A ......

Baby Girl

Born; 1:55 am, October 24, 2008
Weight: 7pounds 14 oz
Length: 53 cms. Whatever that is.
Name: Kelsey Ann Matish

Mom and Baby are doing fine. Dad is a little shakey! Just kidding!
Big sister, Alanna is out of town for her outdoor school camping trip and will find out in one hour when we pick her up at school.

Grandma spent 3 hours holding Kelsey this morning. Grandpa will get his chance this afternoon.

We're ecstatic and very proud of Jill and Chris.

WendyKH

There Was No Call Screening Then

No Baby Yet!

When I was pregnant with Jill, I was one day shy of 3 weeks overdue. These were non ultrasound days. They let nature take its course! They watched your blood pressure and weight just to make sure that you did not have high blood pressure or pre-eclampsia as they called it then.

Every day after my due date seemed like an eternity. Brothers called all miffed thinking that I had forgot to let them in the "big news". Remember 30 years ago, we did not have answering machines or call screening on our phones. It rang you answered it.

My mother told me that she was 25 days overdue with me. I couldn't cry on her shoulder. It fell on deaf ears.

Now we all wait for Jill and Chris to have their baby. I find that I have to call Jill each day to make sure she is alright. The conversations have gone from cagey to straight forward, anything happening? I wonder if she will ever use her answering machine? I would have.

As each day passes, I anxiously await for mother nature to take it's course. I feel for Jill. I will be there to listen to her because I have been there and done that.

Waiting. Will let you know.

Wendykh

No Hybernation This Fall For Me

Summer, what summer?
I know that i am not alone in my feelings that summers are gone before they start and that winter drags on forever.

The leaves are in their deepest golden hues and are trying desperately to fall from their tree branches. In the meantime, i am trying to enjoy them for the beautiful piece of nature that they are. But somehow, I still see the bare branches as a come hither to the snow that is inevitable in this region.

I am not a fall / winter kind of gal. In fact, I quite dislike them. To me fall just means that a dark cold winter looms in the not too distant future. I should have been a bear. At least they are expected to fatten up in the fall before they lay down for a long winter nap.

I won't be napping this fall. In fact for once in my life, I am really looking forward to this fall. In a few weeks Jill and Chris are expecting their first child together. I am so excited that I will have another grandchild to spoil. I have done such a marvelous job of spoiling Alanna. They did not wish to know the gender of the baby so it will be a surprise for all of us whether they have a son or daughter. As I understand it they are in the minority of expecting parents who do not wish to know ahead of time. Good for them, as their really are too few real surprises in our lives.

They have just moved into their new home yesterday. I guess they thought their lives weren't full enough of adventure. As we watched an endless parade of boxes be moved out of their home to their brand new bigger home, it brought back the memories of all the moves, we have been through. I was never brave enough to do one 8 months pregnant! Their home is a beautiful spacious two storey home. It smells like a new home. Men love the new car smell, but I would have to guess that for women there is nothing like the smell of a brand new home. Its the smell of love, hope and memories yet to be made.

As these two events settle out, fall will give me one more event to look forward to. Jackie will be coming home (!) from Tokyo for two weeks. I don't think Calgary has ever been her home. She has been away from Canada for almost two years now. She arrives in early November and I am already counting the days. The last time I hugged Jackie was over a year ago as we hugged goodbye in the Osaka airport.
I know that there is email, skype and even the telephone to stay connected. But there is nothing that can ever fill in for that good old feeling of touch. It will be wonderful to have my children and grandchildren all in one place. I am sure that this will not happen all that often in the future. So for now, I look forward to this with great anticipation. It is better than the feeling of waiting for Christmas and its surprises.

Bill continues to work at retirement and enjoying it. I have been working casual two to three days each week as a clerk in a baby well clinic. All those newborn babes are just warming my cockles to having a brand new grandchild to hold and cuddle.

Its all good.

WendyKH

The Story With A Tragic Ending

It was two weeks ago today. We were invited to an impromptu family gathering and potluck supper. It was a reunion of sorts. My cousin, Jake and his wife Cheryl, had invited us to his acreage outside of Calgary. I had not seen this cousin for several years and it was many many years before that. He had invited two of his siblings, Dave and Vivian. I had not seen these two cousins for more than 3o years.
My dad and their mother were brother and sister. My cousins and their family lived on a farm near Pierceland, Saskatchewan. We lived in Saskatoon. My aunt and uncle had 14 or more children. Our family numbered 9. One can see how coming together for a visit for any amount of time was quite an undertaking. Yet these were the only cousins on my dad's side that we ever visited.
I must admit that farm living was not my cup of tea. At the ages of 6 through 9 we visited the farm several times. It was a place of strange happenings. I saw chickens slaughtered. Chickens can run around without a head. Believe me I had nightmares about that for years to come. I was lifted onto a horse only to fall off of it. There is nothing scarier than lying at the feet of a horse the size of a monster. We had to eat moose meat and fresh milk from a cow. We had to watch out for the bear traps because they had a pesky time with the little beasties. My uncle loved to hunt and had indeed caught a bear or two. My older cousins took advantage of us gullible city mice. I believed everything they told us and usually the joke was on me.
It was these memories that I thought of when we went to see my cousins, their spouses, their children and grandchildren. I have come to the conclusion that big farm families have big families also. It was nice to see them and catch up on their lives, their children, and their grandchildren. We talked and talked. It felt natural to have conversations with them. We decided that we had to get together more often. Personally, I was excited about the genealogy prospects of talking to them.
When it was time for us to leave, I gave Jake, Cheryl and Dave all a huge hug and thanked them for inviting me to a “family get together”.

Little did I know that this would be the last time that I would see Dave. He was tragically killed in a motor vehicle accident this past Tuesday.
Life has never felt so fragile. Give your family a hug today. We can not know what the future holds in store for us.
WendyKH

Graph Paper to Wall Bed

It has been some time since I last blogged!

I have gone back to work casual at the community health center as a clerk. Of course I worked almost three quarters time for the month of June. I believe it will be much less for the next few weeks.

What a strange feeling I felt leaving for work and having Bill stay at home. Bill does have breakfast with me. I'm sure it is just to make sure that I get off to work. I still don't understand early mornings.
Bill has not been idle. He has spent the last month constructing a "wall bed" or as some know it, a Murphy bed. In our downsized condo we are always looking for more ways to economize on floor space and maximize storage space.
For those who know Bill, all projects start with his handy clipboard, graph paper, slide ruler and of course a tape measure. He leaves nothing to chance. He is at his happiest when he is inventing and planning. He loves the challenge of it can't be done( my thinking). There is no such thing in his thinking. And thus we have an almost completed wall bed unit in our second bedroom. The bed is definitely one of a kind complete with special ramps for the wheels of the bed and bungees to assist in its slow drop to the floor. This mechanism took many hours on the graph paper to think out. It's uniqueness is what makes the whole bed system so "Bill". The bed is enclosed neatly in Ikea cupboards. It is engineered so that all corners are flush with each other and it all comes together perfectly. Bill couldn't build any other way.
Each day as I went off to work, Bill had his projects planned out for the day. I felt pretty good about him being busy because believe me folks, leaving Bill home without plans or a project is dangerous. No good could come of it. Lord knows what I would find when I returned.
I am happy that he is happy doing what he does best. That is inventing, planning and doing.
I am not sure what the next project is , but I can bet that there is some idea rattling around in his head. There always is.
WendyKH

No Thanks Folks, I Am From Saskatchewan and I Have A Hood

Umbrellas scare me. I just don't understand them.

First of all I grew up in Saskatchewan. That meant if it rained there was usually accompanying lightning and thunder. It meant you took cover lest you be the next standing target for a lightning strike. It seems to me that rain showers are fast and dirty in Saskatchewan. It goes something like this.
There is the hot sultry day. The white fluffy clouds build to raging black swirling masses of potential. The green wall of water would approach from the west. We would duck and cover. Within an hour it would roam past and we would be left with the most brilliant rainbow in the east sky and the bright sun in the west. Or at least that is how I remembered them when I was younger. Has global warming changed it?

This week, Calgary is experiencing the “Vancouver- type” rain. It is steady and wet and non relenting. It means that one will get wet if they go outside.
The umbrellas are popping up everywhere in our travels. The road race this morning even had bright yellow duckie ones. Cute, but definitely scary.

On our way out this afternoon,Bill grabs his umbrella and offers me one. No thanks I say, I have a hood.
Bill knows that I have a problem with these things. I am the only one that can carry an umbrella on a calm day and have it turn inside out. No wind needed. If not that, I manage to accost at least a dozen people along the way. I also get the one that never closes on command no matter how much I plead. And when I do close it, I have usually cleared a great wide swath around me. At least those English chappies will never get near another Canadian with an umbrella.

While in Japan, there was a whole new dimension to the umbrella saga. Umbrellas are a must in Japan. They are used just as much for sun protection as rain protection. On rainy days, the stores bring out of hiding these wonderful ergonomic plastic bag holders that are set at the entrance way of each building. The only way to explain them is like a condom for wet umbrellas.
The wonderfully talented Japanese folk in all of their efficiency are able to collapse their umbrella, insert them in the bag, and walk into the store without missing a step.
In walks Wendy. Hmm, I had them stacking up like cord wood behind me for one half of a block while I tried to collapse the umbrella. Shall I tell you that I had to take the plastic bag and find a quiet spot to finesse my wet umbrella into it. I guess that defeated the whole purpose of not getting the floor wet. Anyway by the third floor, I had it figured out.
The reverse was just as tricky, but you get the picture.
So umbrellas scare me. In my hands it becomes a weapon of mass destruction. Not just for those around me, but for myself as well.
Now when asked if I want the umbrella; I just say no thanks folks, I am from Saskatchewan and I have a hood.

WendyKH

Happy Mother's Day

“Hey mom - just wanted to report in , in case u hear about a big quake in japan. (I'm fine, japan is fine).”

This is an attention getter. Well at least for me who had not heard about any earthquake in Japan. The 15 hour time difference between Japan and Calgary means that Jackie is awake when we are asleep and vise versa. This means when she woke up the morning after the middle of the night quake experience, I was already asleep. So when I read it this morning she was already back to bed.
I did what any computer person would do and Google Japan and earthquake to get the latest news. The report was as follows;

Strong earthquakes hit Japan
1 day ago
TOKYO (AFP) — "A series of strong earthquakes including one with a magnitude of 6.7 hit the Tokyo area early Thursday, briefly cutting off power to more than 4,000 homes and causing light injuries, officials said.
Japan's meteorological agency warned that more moderate aftershocks could strike, although there were no fears of a tsunami.
The strongest quake hit at 1:45 am (1645 GMT Wednesday) in the Pacific Ocean off Ibaraki prefecture, some 100 kilometres (60 miles) northeast of Tokyo.
Six people were lightly injured, including an 18-year-old boy who was hit by his falling stereo speaker, according to the disaster management agency.
There were no reports of damage to houses, it said.
Power was cut off to some 4,500 households in Tsukuba City, northeast of Tokyo, but has since been restored, the industry ministry said.
The latest quakes have dealt no damage to nuclear power plants or nuclear processing facilities, it said.
But Tokyo Electric Power Co. (TEPCO) was doing final checks on nuclear power plants in Fukushima prefecture, northern Japan, an atomic safety official at the ministry said.
"They are on tight patrol at nuclear power plants" although the plants are continuing operating, the official said, adding government inspectors would give a final confirmation of safety later Thursday.
A 6.8-magnitude earthquake rocked central Japan in July last year, killing 11 people and shutting down the world's largest nuclear power plant owned by TEPCO.
The impact of the latest tremors was strongest in Ibaraki and adjacent Tochigi prefecture where it cracked holes in weak buildings.
"We felt a strong jolt, but there are no reports as of now of any major damage," an Ibaraki police spokesman said.
The strongest earthquake, which struck at a depth of 40 kilometres (25 miles), followed a series of tremors off the Pacific coast early Thursday, including one measuring 6.3 on the Richter scale.
The quakes rattled buildings in the heart of Tokyo, where Chinese President Hu Jintao was staying on a rare visit to Japan.
Japan experiences 20 percent of the world's major earthquakes and has developed an infrastructure meant to withstand violent tremors.
The nation lies at the crossing of four tectonic plates and is constantly bracing for the dreaded "Big One" feared to inflict major damage.
A 7.3-magnitude earthquake in Tokyo could kill 4,700 people, damage 440,000 buildings and leave thousands of others trapped in elevators, according to a study published by the government in 2006.
The last major tremor in Tokyo was the Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923 which left 142,807 people dead or unaccounted for. Japan marks the September 1 anniversary each year with nationwide disaster preparation drills."

Well there it is! She lives on not one, but four tectonic plates that are just waiting to deliver the next big one! I won't even get into the whole nuclear plant thing.
Mothers are fierce protectors of their babies. It is innate and there is not much we can do about that, but worry. I would be lying if I said that I did not worry about her living in Tokyo. I must admit that I worried more about big city living and not about Mother nature.
So as I read that Jackie was “freaked out” about this scary ****”, I want to run to her and hold her tight and protect her.
As Mother's Day approaches, I reflect on what it means to be a mother. It means loving and protecting those babies we had so long ago. It does not matter that they are twenty something or I am sure fifty something. It only matters that they are safe, healthy and happy.
I have never been good at confrontation let alone fighting. However if it was to protect my children, I would take on Mother Nature herself. I not sure I could win but I would surely give her one hell of a good fight before falling.
Happy Mother's Day is knowing that your children are safe.
WendyKH

Regina, Memories and Geese

“Here we are in Regina.”

It was always the standard toast we made while we lived here. We lived in Regina for thirteen or so years. Bill and I were still almost honeymooners when we moved away from home in Saskatoon so he could take his first engineering job with Sask-Tel. Bill and I bought our first new car and home in this city. We had our daughters in this city. Our kids started school in this city. Memories flow through me like warm sun on a spring day.

Ahhh Regina!

We were touring around the legislature and the lake yesterday, when I was struck by the memory of the time I took the girls to Wascana park to feed the geese. I can visualize it so clearly as if it happened yesterday. The day was a typical windy hot spring time day. The girls had finished school for the afternoon and I thought that this would be the perfect outing for them. They were about 6 and 8. We had our bag of stale bread. We parked away from the water. The geese and their droppings were everywhere. The girls and I picked our way to the water front to feed the geese. It was one of those moments in life when a perceived good thing turns south so rapidly that there was no way to stop it.
The girls clamored to get their bread and break it up for the geese. They would lure them close and then drop it for them. One by one we fed the geese until the bread bag was empty. Who knew that geese are so greedy? The geese approached and the girls showed them the empty bag by dumping it upside down and pouring out the crumbs. The geese scrambled forward en mass to get the little bits. It was as if these geese knew this meant that there was no more. The girls moved backward and the geese moved in closer. Before we knew it, the girls and I were making a run for the car. Jackie would not let go of the bread bag. Running and honking and hissing behind us were the dozen or so geese that were sure we had more bread for them. Panic was everywhere. The girls screamed in terror as the geese seemed to gain on them. The harder we ran the faster they were. I have never unlocked car doors so fast. The girls jumped in and slammed their doors tight and locked them. The geese pecked at the door. The girls screams turned to tears. Who knew what capacity of vindictiveness these Regina geese had?
I can bet you that the girls still remember this.

As we continue to tour around Regina, the memories come at me with incredible clarity.
I love these memories. They are the wonderful “warm fuzzies” of a less frantic time. It is what I hope I remember when everything else is gone.

As Bill and I wait out the brewing perfect storm of a spring snowstorm in Saskatchewan, I have memories flying at me with love and laughter.

Life is good.

Wendy KH

24/7

Bill is retired. Bill is at home now. Bill is home 24/7 as they say. We are both at home 24/7.
I have been more or less retired for almost 3 years. I have carved out a niche in my alone time. I have found hobbies that occupy my daytime.

I have worries. I know that these worries are not new ones to many a retired folk. They are however new for Bill and I.

In approximately one month, Bill and I will have been married for 33 years. In that time we have never lived 24/7 in each others life for more than a few weeks of holidays.

We are embarking on a new voyage. As I see this voyage, it has no end date.
The ship of “24//7” has not charted a course. It will follow the wind as it blows us out to retirement. It has a skeleton crew and we are about to lift anchor.


WendyH

One Year Later

I chose my Kyoto mug for my morning coffee today. It is a Starbuck’s souvenir mug. It is painted with colorful Japanese fans, a shrine, the serenity rock garden, a geisha walking across a bridge, and a splash pink Sakura. I love it because it brings back fond memories of that time when I saw all of these things.
I can’t believe that it was one year ago today that I left for Japan. It was such an adventure for me. It gave me so many memories of a country so beautiful that words escaped me to tell of it.
One year later and I still can feel the ocean breezes, see the Sakura in blossom, taste the rich food foreign to my tongue, smell the Starbuck’s coffee in a sea of green tea, and hear the soft tones of the foreign sing song Japanese language.
Jackie has since gone on to less greener pastures. That is she has exchanged her quiet country life in Onomichi for the fast pace living in one of the biggest cities in the world. She no longer teaches English to Japanese school children. She now works for the English version of Japan Times. She lives in Tokyo.
Recently she gave up another of her “Jackie apartments” for a “grown up” apartment in Tokyo. Her new place is a three bedroom apartment complete with hot running water for the shower and sinks. She even has a flush toilet. Although I did not specifically ask about that either.
It sounds very inviting and she has invited us. Jackie tells me it is nothing like Onomichi. She even thinks it might be somewhat overwhelming with the crush of people that live and work there 24/7. It sounds like a challenge to me. Bill and I are thinking of going to Tokyo this year. We are still in the planning stages.
One year later and I still want to go back to see Japan. I am sure that it will be quite different from what I saw the first time. However what will not be different is the reunion with my daughter that I see so rarely with her life of adventure so far from home.

WendyKH

Every Picture Tells A Story

Black & White Photos

The box which was stored safely in the closet was opened. I had been anxiously waiting to look through these black and white photographs. Layer upon layer they were stacked in no apparent order. Atop of the photos was a short terse letter from our aunt and uncle who sent them to us for our pleasure as they really meant nothing to them. Patiently the photos waited for the right moment and right people to go through them.
My sister and I stared at the box of yellowed black and white photos supposedly of our maternal grandmother and family. They came in all shapes and sizes. Some were studio but most were taken by someone who thought the moment needed to be caught. The sad reality is that those stories will likely never be told. What we found was an assortment of people and places that were unnamed.
As hard as we tried, we could name very few of these people. They were pretty good looking photos from the 1920s, 30s, and 40s. A non restrained giddiness overcame us. Faces of stern men and women with children on their laps seemed to become all the same. Notes scribbled on the back such as “I suppose you can pick me out”, or “The Three Musketeers”, “little Betty” or “Our dog Johny with us” were not the least bit helpful. It did provide us with no end of comedy, but I guess you had to be there.
I packed them up to bring home. Someone, somehow must know who these long since dead but kind of funny looking people were. My first choice was to go to the oldest family member and have her scan them and see if she could name them. Luckily for me she agreed to meet one afternoon to help me go through them.
It must have looked overwhelming when I rolled up to her sidewalk with my 24 inch wheeled carry-on suitcase. This was the easiest way to carry around my dead relatives, believe me.
Slowly we went through the photos and she was able to help me sort them and put names to most of them. There are still a handful of questionable characters left hanging around in my suitcase, but I have another plan for that.
Pictures are the genealogists best friend when it comes to getting a story. As I poured through these with my sister Betty, stories poured out. Well some had to be pulled out while others needed to come out of the cob webs, but they came. The stories of family, farms, weddings, favorite brothers, working grandmothers, mother and sisters and more just flowed through the afternoon. I was overwhelmed and absolutely awestruck by the knowledge that people have locked inside of them just for the asking.
I loaded our pictures back into the suitcase careful not to dislodge the many sticky notes and organizational piles we attempted to put together.
I love a picture that tells a story. Not just the shiny one shown on the glossy side, but the story that hides on its not so shiny side. I want a story that brings to me pieces of “humanness” to the flat world it lives in. I want a story that extends beyond it's white boarders. I want a story that lies behind and around the picture.
I visualize in my bizarre mind that each picture extends outward in all directions; some wider, some longer, some deeper or more elevated in its meanings. I visualize that these individual pictures come together to form a connected story (like puzzle pieces falling together). I long for no missing pieces at all. Alas, it would take a miracle to piece all these pictures together into one coherent story.

Don't we all have pictures somewhere? Aren't they all unnamed and undated?. Now imagine your grandchildren or great grandchildren going through them. You can bet that the story that lies within them will not be the story that they will have. If every picture is worth a thousand words, then I plead with you to tell them in your words.

WendyKH

Skeleton In My Closet

It sneaks up on you. It is quite insidious. I am talking about the fastest growing hobby, genealogy.
A little over a year ago, I signed up for a genealogy course. I really had no idea what was involved in the whole process. However, I was ready to dabble in my family history. Just a little hobby on the side of my life.
The one instructor that I spoke to in class told me to prepare myself for something more than a hobby that is picked up from time to time. She said be ready for genealogy to consume your thinking, your activities and your life in general.
Not me, I thought then. I had a life!
Yes me I now know.
I have a 'skeleton in my closet'. I thought a few well placed calls and I would find out who this nerdowell maternal grandfather was. Thus with my basic course behind me and a “how to” book on genealogy, I began my search.
All genealogists tell you to start with what you know. But not me, I had this great need to get to know this mystery guest in our family. Thus for one year I have spun my wheels trying to find information on him. For one year I am no closer than finding him on a marriage certificate to my grandmother. What this gave me was another name, another alias. My family only heard the most derogative remarks about “Patrick Sullivan”. So why did his name appear as 'Bob Windsworth Sullivan” ? The deeper I dig the more mysterious it all becomes.
Along the way I have learned about census records in both the States and Canada. I have learned about immigration records from Ellis Island. I have learned that you have to be to the 4th floor of the library right at opening to get a computer to play on. I have a new respect for librarians and their vast knowledge and ability to put their finger on exactly what you need, when I don't even know what I need. I have bookmarked my favorite sites such as Canada archives, Saskatchewan and Manitoba archives. And I have spoke to some of the nicest people at these places trying to get just a little closer to what I need to know.
I have learned that the cemeteries have the coolest sights with the darnedest information. There is nothing quite like the feeling of tiptoeing through the cemetery from the warmth of your own home.
I also know that copies of certificates are available for a cost.
I have learned that FOIP is going to be the death of genealogy.
Along the way I have picked up history pertaining to divorces pre 1968. I have learned about criminal versus civil court. I have discovered history like I never knew before.
It is a patient exercise in process oriented discovery. One tiny piece of data at a time.
In frustration of going nowhere fast on my grandfather's history, I decided to do what genealogists are suppose to do first. I have started with what I know. I have started with me and am working out in each direction. In genealogy every date and event must be backed with documentation and the resource sited.
Well this brought on a new level of aggravation. First of all, I did not know as much as I thought I knew, but in this case I can call and ask for verification. It gets a little touchy when you ask for copies of birth certificates and marriage certificates. No I am not going to take over your identification. Not in my family anyway! It also gets a little touchy when you need to contact ex- wives. I haven't gone there yet, but it will come soon. Do I really want to dig up that stuff again. I have spent many hours over the past weeks at my computer adding names, dates and scanning documents and papers. My kitchen table and desk and floor are covered with papers. God bless Bill for his patience.
I wake up thinking about genealogy. To that end I was quite delighted to go out for the evening this week to take my mind off of it. Little did I know that “Riverdance” would send me back to my Irish roots. Honest to god, I kept visualizing my grandfather (I have a few pictures) up on stage mocking me by tapping along with them in all his Irish glory.

It is nice to have distant family members who have done family genealogy and are more than happy to share it with you. And it is nice to have one member of the immediate family who has a sharp mind for detail and just as sharp of memory. My sister in Saskatoon is such a person. And to that end, I have decided to take a quick trip to Saskatoon to pick her brain. I will try not to pick it clean. So now I am taking holidays based on genealogy. I was warned this would happen. I can't wait to tell Bill that I need to go to Salt Lake City to the biggest site of genealogical data anywhere in the world, The Mormon Archives. It is the mecca of all genealogists.

“If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.”
by famous IRISH playwrite George Bernard Shaw.
WendyH

I MARRIED AN ELECTRICAL ENGINEER!

I married an electrical engineer.
All my stories should start out with that.
Before we were married, the engineer in my life had taken apart most electrical things he could safely get his hands on. He built his own amplifier and a set of speakers. His electrical talents were well established before he ever entered university to take engineering.
Our first apartment after we were married had two bedrooms. Part of the second bedroom was set up as his project room. It has some of the strangest electrical gadgets that scared the bejeepers out of me. I would go in from time to time, but not very often. This one particular evening I decided to go in and see what was up. He had pliers in hand and was into the back of something very electrical looking. I asked if he ever got an electrical shock. Just as he was about to say “no, never” his distracted hand hit something upon which sparks, Bill and expletives flowed across the room in front of me. He did not see what was so funny as i burst out laughing. Ignorance is bliss but being a nurse, I knew CPR! We made a pack after he recovered that I would stay out of his way when he played with his electrical things. And thus the reason that I have so little to do with all electrical things in our home.
It has worked out for us. But as a result,I have watched the electronics come and go into our homes without too much knowledge of just how cutting edge these things are.
Our first TV was a black and white which really was another piece of furniture to set my ornaments upon. There was no remote or more than a channel or two. You plugged it in and turned the knob on or off. You even had to get up to adjust the volume. I miss the good old days.
The tape cassette, the CD player, the VHS player, the DVD player marched into our lives. And with each evolution, Bill connected, wired and hooked up the collection of them together. He connected the whole set to the amplifier and speakers long before sound surround became the norm in homes. Of course every electrical evolution meant another family tutorial was needed so that we could listen to our music or watch the TV when he wasn't around.
Somewhere in the midst of this came our first home computer. It was the summer of 85 or 86. We purchased it in Alberta. Bill set that baby up between our two babies in the back seat to bring it home to Regina. I really did not understand the concept of home computers, but Bill sure was excited. It had 500 mega bites of memory. Less than a quarter of the memory of most of those key chain memory sticks. He set it up and played endlessly on the "dos" prompted screen. I may have used it once or twice to write a letter. I had no idea what this machine was all about and thought it was just another electronic toy for Bill. Since then we have never been without a computer or six.
I have watched Bill replace computers with bigger and better models. I have received Christmas gifts of CD burners for Christmas. What the heck was a CD burner? I have seen him take them apart and add to the more internal memory. I have seen him bring them back to life after they have died a virus infected life. I have seen him do the equivalent of a brain transplant on them. I have seen him build a complete computer from parts bought from electronic specialty stores.
I have watched our digital pictures appear from our camera to the computer with a simple plug in. AND just when I thought it couldn't get more complicated I watched him marry our electronics to our computers. Double oi vey!
Electrically we have seen and done it all thus far. So why is it, that each time I am at home alone and want to watch a show or play a CD, or listen to my music which is now buried deep within one of the computers, that I stand before the new 50 inch plasma flat screen TV longing for the antiquated on/off button? But no luck. Instead I have to play Russian roulette with several of the 7 remotes that line up in a row, just slightly askew to the right of my beloved engineer husband's chair.
I clear my brain and try to remember the tutorial. My shaking sweaty hands reach for several of the remotes. I have to put one back quickly as it is the wrong one, ahhh! After some g'fingerpoking, I manage to wake up the computer to turn on the TV to make the choice of what I want to do media wise. I think I shall listen to my relaxation Cd, just to soothe the electrically challenged mind.

WKH

The Life We Choose

I'm reading a Peter Walsh book called It's All To Much. I am thoroughly enjoying it. It is on my favorite topic decluttering. And we all know that decluttering goes hand in hand with downsizing. And downsizing is passion for us.
Since we downsized almost 3 years ago we have been expounding the joys of our new lifestyle to anyone who will listen. Well maybe we even told some people who don't want to hear about it. Bill and I know that they are just not ready for it yet. But the day will come sooner or later when they are ready for a freer life.
Our realization came to us in a most insidious manner. We started to vacation in Europe and were astounded at their smaller homes. The homes that I visited were wonderfully decorated and not cluttered. Their homes had multi functional pieces of furniture. Everything had a place and was just perfect for the space. They would wait patiently for just the perfect piece to fill the spot.
As Bill and I became empty nester's, we started to enjoy our time together in evening walks and coffee dates. Our life was unfolding before us and we loved the carefree life we were living. We loved traveling and being away from home.
Both of us were working and away from our huge 1900 square foot home with a walk out basement for most of the day. Neither of us enjoyed yard work or shoveling snow. Neither of us were interested in the perfect decorated home. Let's face it off white walls was as wild as we got in our decoration prowess.
It was at this same time that Bill's mom moved out of her home of 40 or so years to a smaller apartment. The task of downsizing was momentous and very overwhelming at times. When it was done, it felt wonderful for her and her children.
We were lucky to have his mom around to make the decisions on what was wanted and not. In the case of my parents, we had to clean it out after they died. It was not a happy time for those concerned.
Bill and I started to chat about dealing with all the “crap” in the basement. We had boxes still packed up from two moves ago.
One day while we were tidying up for the “maids coming” we realized that of the seven rooms and three bathrooms, that we had only used 3 rooms and two bathrooms. The rugs still had the vacuum marks from the cleanup two weeks before.
It did not make sense to me that we heated this huge house where we barely did more than sleep in and have dinner. It did not make sense that we stayed somewhere that demanded time from us that we did not want to give. It did not make sense to us that we had so much stuff. We had 5 desks for the two of us. We had two sets of living room furniture. We had 4 beds. We had 4 sets of dishes and well the mugs and glasses took up half our kitchen cupboard space.
It all did not make sense. We were drowning in stuff we did not need or use. We forced ourselves to re evaluate that future day that we may need our stuff.
We bucked the trend and looked for a smaller space in the name of a condo which was located downtown. Our friends and family thought we were absolutely nuts to leave our beautiful new home with hardwood floors and everything we had wanted when we had it built for us. However sometimes even the things we thought we wanted were not the things we actually want. Lifestyles change and in our case we knew we needed to make the change to set ourselves free from what was no longer our dream.
In a matter of a few months we found the ideal place in downtown Calgary and sold our house just half an hour on the market. We now had less than 3 months to get downsized.
I am not going to say it was an easy task. It was daunting. It was emotional. It was reliving every year that we had been married. It was fascinating to find things we had long since forgotten about. It was a task in patience while we figured out what we needed and what we thought we needed. There were tears and laughter. There were memories and you know what I still carry all those memories even though I do not have the “stuff” that I kept stored in the basement.
We love our simpler and in many ways easier life in our condo. It is really freeing to be rid of all the things that hang around in the basement haunting you. Our daughters thanked us for going through our things already. What a bonus for them not to have to go through our memorabilia after we are gone.
We started slowly and as we got the hang of it, we became pros at sorting through our junk. We decided instead of watching the same re-run sitcom every night that we would go into the basement and fill up a garbage or recycle bag. Thirty minutes every evening. It worked well for us. It is incredible the amount of garbage and recycle we kept in our basement. It just kept coming out. Our garbage went from its weekly one black bag to as many as we dared to put out on garbage day.
We still struggle with clutter and accumulation. We have adopted a motto; "Shirt in, Shirt out". Meaning if you buy anything for our condo, something of equal value or size must leave. It works. Further we find ourselves shopping differently. Costco rations rarely works in our limited space. And we look at most things and raise an eyebrow and look at each other and say “garage sale fodder”!
If I haven't said it enough, Bill and I have never looked back after our change in residences. It seems that daily we find another perk to living where and how we live.
It is all about being honest with yourself and knowing what you really want out of life. Work towards the things that make that happen and happiness will follow.
Wendy H.